


All or Nothing

by AlliAnnLopes



Series: Hollywood Heartthrobs [1]
Category: Hollywood U: Rising Star
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-02
Updated: 2015-06-02
Packaged: 2018-04-02 13:41:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4062088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlliAnnLopes/pseuds/AlliAnnLopes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Four times Thomas Hunt fully realized his feelings for his childhood best friend Chris Winters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All or Nothing

The first time Thomas realizes he has feelings for his best friend, they’re freshmen in high school.

Chris Winters - yes,  **the** Chris Winters - was the popular type in high school: baseball star, plenty of friends, and girls fawning over him every time he entered a room. He didn’t quite fit to stereotypes, but that just was how Chris was - he always broke tradition.

On the other hand, Thomas Hunt - despite every student at Hollywood U having a crush on him  **now** \- was actually a wallflower back in high school. He had always kept to himself, keeping his mind focused on his grades instead of - in his words - ‘needlessly falling in love’. He kept his calm composure most of the time, but he slowly got more overworked as his four years in high school went on.

Thomas is roaming around the fine arts building after hours. His usual spot that he goes to after school - the library - is closed due to flooding repairs and general maintenance. He ends up finding his way to the auditorium among several group rehearsals, and he sees Chris practicing for the school musical.

He stops for a moment when he hears Chris’s voice.

Ducking behind a large banister, Thomas doesn’t know what to do when he hears Chris’s singing voice for the very first time. He tries to keep his cool because they are friends, after all, but he feels his cheeks heat up a little and butterflies soar in his stomach.

Thomas gets up eventually once Chris is done with the song he’s using to warm up, still not sure what to do with himself, and one of the other kids yells from the stage, “This is a closed rehearsal!”

“I’ve got it, Rodolfo,” another voice responds, a familiar one for Thomas this time.

Footsteps echo through the auditorium, and Thomas suddenly feels a hand on his shoulder.

“What are you doing here?” Chris asks gently so no one else can hear.

“The library was closed,” Thomas begins to answer, “so the closest place I could try to get some homework done was here in the fine arts building. The art rooms were all taken up, and I would have gotten distracted in the band room.”

Chris smiles and nods sympathetically. “You can hang out backstage. It should be fairly quiet back there.”

A little taken aback by the generosity, Thomas blinks a few times before smiling at him, picking his bag up off the floor. “Thank you, but you don’t have to do this.”

“But I want to.” Chris wraps an arm over Thomas’s shoulders. “C'mon, let’s go make a place for you to get some work done.” He leads Thomas over to one of the small desks in one of the dressing rooms. “You gonna be okay back here? Need anything else?”

Thomas shook his head. “N-No, I think I’m good.”

Chris smiles and nods at him. “Okay, if there’s anything else you need, just let me know.”

“Okay.” Thomas gives a shy smile as he turns away from Chris. “Thank you again.”

“No problem.”

As soon as Thomas hears the door fully close, he knows he doesn’t just have homework on his mind anymore.

 

* * *

 

The second time Thomas realizes he has feelings for Chris, high school graduation had been just a few weeks before.

Except this time around, Thomas has a girlfriend: Yvonne Reyes, an exchange student from Spain. Thomas had been dating her for almost a year now, and for their anniversary, Yvonne wanted to run away with him back to Spain.

Unfortunately, Thomas wasn’t too keen on the idea.

When Chris drives Thomas to the airport that morning, half of the ride there is quiet.

“I was very hesitant to say this before,” Chris finally speaks up, “but I’m not a fan of this plan.” He sighed. “I really don’t like Yvonne, Thomas. She’s very sneaky, and to be perfectly and completely honest with you, this plan of hers sounds like it’s going to end very badly for you…”

Thomas nods in understanding. Something unfamiliar roars up in his gut. “I understand… I actually asked you to take me here so I could tell her in person that I can’t just up and leave with her.”

Chris is stunned. “Why me?”

“Because you’re my best friend. And I don’t think I can do this without… needing someone to fall back on.”

After a few minutes, Chris pulls into the parking garage, quickly parking in a spot by the entrance to the main airport building.

Thomas gets out of the car, taking a deep breath before catching up to Chris.

Chris looks at Thomas concerned. “You gonna be okay?”

“I don’t know…” Thomas answers him.

“Don’t worry - we’ll figure something out once this is over, okay?”

Thomas nods as they reach the counters to check in for the various flights running through the airport. Yvonne is in line, holding hands with… Rodolfo Flores?

“Rodolfo?” Chris asks.

“What the hell?!” Thomas adds in disgust.

Yvonne turns around to look at both young men. “Oh, I never told you?” she replies. “Rodolfo and I are running away together.”

Thomas looks right at Yvonne, anger in his blue-gray eyes. “What about me, Yvonne? Was everything we went through real, or was it just something to occupy your time?”

She doesn’t answer, grabbing Rodolfo’s hand tightly.

Enraged, but still keeping his composure, Thomas tosses his plane ticket to Rodolfo. “You’ll need this more than me.” His rage-filled eyes turn to Yvonne. “Goodbye. And good riddance.” He turns and quickly walks away, not knowing whether to break down in tears or punch something.

Chris follows behind Thomas, eventually catching up to him. “Thomas… I’m really sorry.”

Thomas shakes his head. “Don’t be. You weren’t the person who wasted almost a year of my time…”

“I know… Do you still have your stuff packed?”

“Don’t remind me.”

Chris shakes his head and stopped Thomas by grabbing onto his wrist. “No, no, Thomas, listen to me.” He sighs. “How about you and me take a road trip to Hollywood together? I was going to go by myself, but…” Chris bites his lip, leaving the event that just occurred unspoken. “You always said you wanted to go to Los Angeles, right? Let’s go!”

Thomas sighs. “I don’t know, Chris…”

“Oh, come on! It’ll be so much fun!”

Slowly turning around, Thomas looks at Chris, who currently had eyes that were lit up with hope - almost like a puppy’s.

Thomas wishes he could look at Chris like this for the rest of his life.

“You know what?” Thomas asks. “Why not? Let’s do it.”

Chris hugs Thomas. “Yes! Oh my God, Thomas, thank you so much for doing this with me!”

Thomas smiles shyly as he hugs Chris back. “Of course. What are friends for?”

 

* * *

 

The third time Thomas realizes his feelings for Chris, it’s on the home stretch of the road trip to Hollywood.

Chris’s van pulls up to a quiet spot right on the outskirts of Las Vegas. They’re only another day’s drive to Hollywood, but Chris wants to stop driving for the night and take a break.

Getting out of the driver’s seat, Chris opens up the tailgate and moves their bags to the front seats, revealing the mattress they had been using at night to sleep on.

Thomas is still sitting in the front passenger’s seat, feet up on the dashboard as he was leaning back.

Chris walks over to Thomas from outside the car. “Back’s ready.”

Nodding, Thomas grabs his coffee and exits the front seat of the car, following Chris into the back. “Sorry I’ve been quiet all day.”

“Don’t sweat it.” Chris enters the back of the van first, pulling Thomas inside as he quickly shuts the tailgate so they’re safe inside. He climbs over and turns the radio on, switching it to a country music station before pulling out a bottle of scotch. “Let’s just let loose tonight.”

Thomas smiles and shakes his head. “Why are you doing this to me?”

“Because you and I need to get rid of this stress, and the only way we can right now is alcohol.”

“…You kind of have a valid point.” Thomas sits next to Chris, taking the bottle of scotch and a plastic cup. He pours a bit of the liquor in the cup, passing the bottle to Chris and downing the scotch he had poured in a mere matter of moments. “Please tell me you brought more than one bottle.”

Chris chuckles. “Of course I did.” He pours himself a sample of the scotch and downs it almost as fast as Thomas drank his.

Thomas adjusts himself on the mattress. “Let’s not get too crazy, okay?”

“Alright, alright, I promise we won’t get too wasted.”

 

* * *

 

A few hours pass by, and both of them are just buzzed enough to be looser, but still be themselves.

Thomas looks up at the stars in the sky through the skylight in the van, a small smile on his face. “I can’t believe we’ll be in Hollywood tomorrow night.”

Chris smiles, laying next to Thomas. “Me either… I’m just really glad I got to do this with you instead of by myself.” He hears a slower song start to play on the radio. He chuckles a little, sloppily wrapping an arm around Thomas’s chest. “I thought of you when I heard this song for the first time.”

Raising an eyebrow, Thomas looks at Chris. “Are you sure you don’t mean me and Yvonne?”

“Nah, just you.” The alcohol was strong on Chris’s breath.

Thomas sighed, closing his eyes and listening to the song as the vocals began. He could barely hear Chris singing along.

**Tell me you’ve had trouble sleeping**   
**That you toss and turn from side to side**   
**That it’s my face you’ve been seeing**   
**In your dreams at night**

**Tell me that you wake up crying**   
**And you’re not sure exactly why**   
**Tell me that something is missing**   
**In your life, in your life, baby**

**Tell me that you live for love**   
**That forever is never enough**   
**That you’ve waited all your life to see**   
**That you want so badly to believe**   
**Tell me that it’s not just me**

**I could have sworn I saw you smile at me**   
**Standing in the pouring rain**   
**At a loss for words and running out of time**   
**I said this crazy thing (crazy thing), I said**

**Tell me that you live for love**   
**That forever is never enough**   
**That you’ve waited all your life to see**   
**That you want so badly to believe**   
**Tell me that it’s not just me**

**Hold me now and tell me that you do believe**   
**In a soul, a soul mate**   
**And tell me, and tell me, tell me**

**Tell me that you live for love**  
That forever is never enough  
That you’ve waited all your life to see  
That you want so badly to believe  
Tell me that it’s not just me

Thomas opens his mouth to speak, but he ends up not saying a word as Chris kisses him. It’s sloppy and it’s bittersweet because Chris is a black-out drunk and he won’t remember a thing in the morning, so all Thomas can do is cherish the moment, only letting Chris further the kiss on his own.

It’s not long before the kiss stops, and Chris slowly falls asleep next to Thomas.

As soon as Thomas is sure Chris is out like a light, he cries quietly enough so he doesn’t wake Chris up.

There’s only one thing Thomas knows for sure: if they don’t end up together, memories of this night are going to hurt him like hell.

 

* * *

 

The fourth and final time Thomas has his feelings for Chris come back to him, it’s almost twelve years later.

Or, rather, when the feelings come to a considerable and non-removable head, just about twelve years have passed for both of them.

During that span of time, Chris had gone through dozens of significant others and was having the time of his life as a famous movie star.

Thomas, on the other hand, despite dozens of directing and acting jobs, was drinking himself to tears more nights than one could even count.

In fact, when things come to a head, he’s at a bar of all places.

Getting used to the ambiance of the bar, Thomas downs his second scotch of the night - and it’s not even eleven yet.

He hears a couple arguing behind him, keeping his ears perked up.

 _Something’s familiar_ , he thinks.

“Megan, I’m not marrying you after three months of getting to know you,” a male voice says sternly as he clinks a glass to a wooden table.

“But Chris, three months is plenty long enough!” the woman - Megan - replied. “I already have our wedding song picked out!”

“You’re being creepy, Megan. Please stop.”

“Oh! Okay!” Thomas could hear the woman’s heels clack on the floor as he stood up. “So if  **I’m** not good enough for Chris Winters, no girl is!”

The mention of Chris’s full name makes Thomas freeze in his tracks.

Chris sighs. “You know what, Megan? You’re right.” He stands up quickly. “No  **girl** may be good enough for me, Megan, but there’s a guy who is. So run along and go find some other boy toy to fuck around with.”

Megan scoffs and walks out, slamming the door to the bar shut.

Thomas grasps his third scotch when the bartender gives it to him, not turning around to face Chris, whom he can hear walk over to the stage.

A very familiar piano opening to Thomas starts to play from the grand piano, and he can hear Chris singing:

**Tell me you’ve had trouble sleeping…**

Halfway through downing his third scotch, Thomas’s eyes widen.  _Oh God, I must be drunk to the point of hallucination by now,_  he thought. _None of this has to be real._

The song passes by faster than Thomas expects, and he’s still stunned by the sudden performance.

Chris slowly starts another song, this one less familiar to Thomas. He hears Chris’s velvet voice through the microphone as he starts to sing again:

**Got a picture of you I carry in my heart**   
**Close my eyes to see it when the world gets dark**   
**Got a memory of you I carry in my soul**   
**I wrap it close around me when the nights get cold**   
**If you asked me how I’m doin’, I’d say just fine**   
**But the truth is, baby, if you could read my mind**

**Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you**   
**After all this time you’re still with me it’s true**   
**Somehow you remain locked so deep inside**   
**Baby, baby, oh baby, not a day goes by**

Thomas could barely breathe. Was he actually singing this to him? Did he know he was even here? He didn’t know for sure, but all he knew was that he couldn’t speak.

**I still wait for the phone in the middle of the night**   
**Thinkin’ you might call me if your dreams don’t turn out right**   
**And it still amazes me that I lie here in the dark**   
**Wishin’ you were next to me, with your head against my heart**   
**If you asked me how I’m doin’, I’d say just fine**   
**But the truth is, baby, if you could read my mind**

**Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you**   
**After all this time you’re still with me it’s true**   
**Somehow you remain locked so deep inside**   
**Baby, baby, oh baby, not a day goes by**

**Minutes turn to hours, and the hours to days  
Seems it’s been forever that I’ve felt this way **

**Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you**   
**After all this time you’re still with me it’s true**   
**Somehow you remain locked so deep inside**   
**Baby, baby, oh baby, not a day goes by**   
**That I don’t think of you**

Thomas looks down at his empty drink. He sees a hand place a twenty-dollar bill under the glass before grabbing the outside of Thomas’s hand.

“C’mon, Thomas, I’m getting you out of here,” Chris tells him.

Not sure what to say to him in return, Thomas nods and stands up.

Chris grabs Thomas’s hand - which is a first - and leads him straight out of the bar and to his Cadillac. “We’re going back to your apartment. Don’t worry - I still remember where it is. You left the keys to your car with one of the bartenders, right? And you still have your house keys?”

Thomas nods.

Chris smiles at him. “Alright, good.”

 

* * *

 

The two make it back to Thomas’s apartment safely, Chris closing the door behind them and locking it.

Sitting on his couch and leaning back in the seat, Thomas takes a deep breath as he musters up the courage to speak. “Those songs… Were those for me?” he asks.

Chris chuckled. “Who else would they have been for, you moron?” he asks in almost a joking tone for the last part of the question.

Thomas takes another deep breath as he feels Chris sit down next to him and place a hand on his leg.

“We need to talk,” Thomas tells him.

Chris scoots closer to the slightly younger man, rubbing his hand up Thomas’s outer thigh. “Of course. What’s on your mind?”

Thomas slowly turned to face Chris. “Do you remember the night before we got here? When we were in Vegas and we got drunk off your dad’s scotch?”

“Yeah, I remember.” Chris wraps his other arm around Thomas’s waist. “What about it?”

After taking yet another deep breath, Thomas looks Chris dead in the eye. “Do you remember… kissing me that night?”

Chris chuckles. “Hell yeah, I do. I may be a black-out drunk, but I think I’d actually remember kissing my best friend whether I was drunk or not.”

Thomas blushes, closing his eyes. “You don’t… You don’t regret it, do you…?”

Looking at Thomas with softened eyes, Chris takes a deep breath. “Not for a second.” He sighs. “You know… I still think about that night. Much more than you might think, actually.” He pulls Thomas closer to him, brushing his raven hair back. “Out of everyone I’ve dated and almost dated, you’ve meant the most to me. More than anyone else that I’ve been intimate with.” He sighs again. “The only thing I regret… is not asking you if we could be together that next morning or even that night after the kiss.”

Eyes widening, Thomas looks at Chris in shock and disbelief.

Chris smiles wider and pulled Thomas fully into his arms, gently laying themselves down on the couch. “I want you, Thomas, and nobody else.”

Thomas smiles softly, blushing more.

“I love you,” Chris finally tells him, “I’m  **in**  love with you, and I’m so sorry I was stupid and didn’t realize it before.”

Feeling the warmth of Chris’s chest on his own, Thomas pulls him closer so that they’re nose to nose. “I love you too.” He chuckles. “Better late than never.”

Chris chuckles as well before pulling Thomas into a kiss. Both of their bodies start to relax into each other’s touch, and for the first time in over a decade, neither of them have felt any more liberated than they do in this moment.

Slowly, Chris pulls away, looking down at Thomas’s blue-gray eyes with warm brown ones. “You’re still kind of buzzed from the scotch, aren’t you?”

Thomas nods. “A little bit.”

Chris stands up. “I’m gonna get you some water and a few painkillers, alright? You’re gonna need it in the morning. I’m also getting us some clothes to change into so we don’t have to sleep in our jeans.”

Slowly turning on the couch, Thomas stands up. “I’ll go with you to my bedroom.”

“Why? You plan on messing around with me?”

Thomas blushes a bright red.

Chris laughs. “Thomas, I’m just kidding.” He wraps an arm around Thomas’s waist. “I know that you just want to get comfortable for right now, sweetheart.” He kisses Thomas’s forehead gently. “Go ahead and change, okay? Leave some clothes in the bathroom for me while you’re in there.”

Nodding, Thomas smiles as Chris gently kisses his forehead before they part ways for the next few minutes.

Once Chris finally emerges from the bathroom in sweatpants and a softer flannel shirt, he looks over at Thomas, who’s in the bed under the covers trying to get warm.

Chris chuckles, sliding into the bed next to Thomas and turning the television on. “Feeling better?”

Thomas nods as he turns to face Chris. “Immensely better, thank you.” He smiles softly. “So… what happens from here?”

“Well, unless you’d rather be living here by yourself, I want to move in with you.”

“I figured that as much.” Thomas pauses for a minute as he finally registers his surroundings despite the alcohol. “Oh my God, you’re with me in my bed, holy crap…”

Chris laughs. “Slow on the uptake tonight, are we?”

Thomas playfully shoves Chris. “Shut up.”

Still laughing, Chris climbs on top of Thomas before he kisses him gently, stroking his cheek as the kiss deepens seconds later.

As soon as the kiss deepens, Thomas practically melts into the mattress. He feels Chris weaving one hand through his hair and feels the other moving up and down his back.

Chris finally pulls away, looking down at Thomas with soft eyes. “Breathless, are we?”

Thomas blushes before smiling and playfully shoving Chris off of him. “You wish.”

“You say that, yet you know the opposite is true.”

Grabbing a pillow, Thomas smacks Chris with it and smiles. “You’re such a jackass!”

Chris pulls Thomas into his arms again. “Yeah, but I’m your jackass, aren’t I?”

Thomas smiles and rolls his eyes.

“Get some sleep now, okay?” Chris gently wraps them both up in warmer blankets and wraps his arms tightly around Thomas as they laid back-to-chest. He kissed Thomas’s forehead. “Your hangover will be worse in the morning if you don’t get some sleep now.”

Feeling his body relax into the gentle touch as he closes his eyes, Thomas nods. “Yeah, I’ll try.”

Chris smiles, kissing Thomas’s cheek again. “I love you.”

Thomas smiles as Chris runs a hand through his hair. “I love you too.”

“ _Buonanotte, mio principe_.” (Translation:  _Goodnight, my prince._ )

Although he doesn’t understand what that means, Thomas leans fully into Chris and chuckles. “G’night, Chris.”

Within a matter of minutes, both men are fast asleep, finally at peace with themselves.

**Author's Note:**

> The two songs used in this story are "It's Not Just Me" by Rascal Flatts and "Not a Day Goes By" by Lonestar.


End file.
